One Love
by justdaisy
Summary: About Tina after Rick's passing. Short and based off Marianas Trench's song.


**Oh well, this is actually the one that started it all, my first fanfic. If you are feeling vulnerable maybe sit this one out.**

 **SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING: severe depression, substance abuse, severe depression, loss, severe depression**

 _ **I wrote this when I was dying coming on a year ago. Obviously I lived, but this fic is very realistic. You've been warned.**_

Tina woke from her dreams with a sharp intake of breath. Her body was covered in a cold sweat. Disoriented, she pulled back the covers and made her way to the apartment balcony, warming herself in the air of a warm summer's night. She struggled to remember what had woken her. A dream perhaps? If so it had slipped from her memory. A car alarm went off in the distance startling her. She turned suddenly, causing her head to spin. She grasped the balcony railing for support while she waited for her vision to clear.

"Tina? What's going on?" Rick called from the bed.

"I… don't know," Tina responded truthfully. Why had she gotten up? Her mind felt cluttered and yet without thoughts. It was a confusing and uncomfortable state.

"Just come back to bed," Rick called again, but this time there was something odd about his voice… Tina turned to re-enter their apartment and stopped contemplating the difference when she was hit with a fresh wave of dizziness. When her vision cleared as she was climbing back into the bed, a high, steady tone began to ring in her ears. She shook slightly under the covers despite feeling warm again. Quite warm, possibly febrile. All her thoughts were clouded. She rolled over to face her boyfriend. He was looking back at her, and his expression pitying. Tina couldn't understand why, and opened her mouth to ask when a new wave of darkness swam before her eyes.

In the dark waves… Rick flickered. Tina began to panic and reached for his arm, taking comfort when her fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt. At this point Rick was difficult to see, details were unclear. It occurred to her that his shirt was cool, as if he had only just put it on but that couldn't be right… Her stomach lurched as she considered other possibilities. She tightened her hold on Rick, desperate to stay anchored to the only person she with whom she had ever felt close.

Her vision cleared once more, giving her a view of her hand clasping empty sheets. She stared at her hand for another moment, then turned onto her other side, away from the spot where she had believed Rick to be. She stared out the open balcony doors, but did not react. Her body began to shake harder, but she still did not cry. She was beyond crying. All she felt was numbness. That wasn't true. She wanted to feel numb, but instead she felt cold and clammy and hot and shaky and that damned ringing was still going on and she couldn't see and she couldn't think… She felt so much better before she had woken up, after she had taken that pill. She had forgotten the accident for a little while, instead of its constantly replaying day and night incessantly in her mind, and she had been able to see Rick.

She continued to lay there shivering, her nutrient deprived body too weak to offer alternatives, her depressed mental state unable to offer alternatives. She stared at the rising sun and thought about how she had felt some sort of drive when she was grasping for Rick last night. She missed drive. She never wanted to do or feel anything these days, but she had last night, if just for a little while.

The reached for the baggie on her bedside table, and removed the last few tablets her neighbour had offered her after Rick's passing. She washed them down with warm white wine. She turned to face where she had seen Rick before waited for his return.

 **If Tina didn't die after that, she likely will soon. I suspect she'd get high repeatedly looking for Rick, becoming more convinced her hallucinations were real. This song and this situation were actually what inspired me to start writing fanfiction. Morbid, I know.**


End file.
